CANTO THE TENTH
Argument
Considering the counsel vain
Of all the rank and file,
The Gypsies chose those of schooled brain
To gather for a while
And judge what government is good
For the entire Gypsihood.
1
Now when the maw is well provided for,
The mouth is ready and the tongue is loose.
You’re sure to receive advice galore
From each and every counsellor you choose.
It is a proven fact that many a priest
Is want to sermonise after the feast.
2
Yet when the aliment is scarce, alack!
The mind appears to be much less astute:
All its advice acquires a tinge of black,
And like unto a fish the tongue is mute.
The gist of all philosophy therefore
Depends alone upon the stomach’s store.
3
You may well laugh... Yet it is often said
That inspiration of exalted thought
Goes hand in hand with fullness of good bread.
And as the barren field is yielding naught,
So does the constant going without food
Yield no such fruit as might be held for good.
4
Gird up your loins, my friends, and answer, pray,
Did hermits in the wilderness excel
At any good thing as they fed each day
On berries, fungi, nuts, roots pimpernel,
And starved to death on suchlike meagre fare,
Sullen, morose, with only rags to wear?
5
I’m telling you, theirs was a sorry fate:
Vermin for company day out, day in,
At night the devils kept them up till late,
Tormenting them and teaching them to sin,
Until they ended up out of their mind.
Departed reason left a brute behind,
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8
Take Homer’s Iliad, that splendid feat -
He didn’t pen it among crags or trees,
But at such times as he sat down at meat,
Singing a merry song, taking his ease.
And if he drank the odd goblet of wine,
The Muses filled him with their gift divine.
9
Plato himself, though godly, hit the bottle,
And ate as any highborn glutton would.
And neither did sagacious Aristotle
Live without wine and meat and fish for food.
That’s why their books, though written long ago,
Still make us marvel now, and rightly so.
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11
As long as the Gypsies had nary a bite
They appeared not to reason at all.
Yet now what an awesome, incredible sight:
The whole number of them, great and small,
Having eaten their fill, and without thinking twice,
Boldly treat one another to expert advice.
12
Ever since Than d’Aller had supplied them with bread,
They’d been feasting without any break,
And for many a day they’d been constantly glad,
While the elders would constantly make
Plans as to how they could possibly stand
For order within their impoverished land.
13
Nevertheless, their counsel came to naught,
Despite the wisdom readily displayed,
Since each and every speaker only sought
To put his own ideas on parade.
And, good or bad, they’d have it their own way,
As long as there was someone to gainsay.
14
One said there was no need of any rule,
Or any regulation, law, or reign,
For, as he saw it, and he was no fool,
The best of rules did nothing but constrain.
And should they all agree with one accord
To be subjected to some ruling lord?
15
“For those on top,” he said, “the rules are trump,
‘Cause they can keep us commoners at bay.
King, prince, vizier, minister or mugwump,
They are the ones that always have their say
And pocket the whole country’s revenue,
Which, by their rules, is no more than their due.”
16
Another one said, “Nay, but let us ground
Such order that will well be worth its while,
A profitable system, and a sound,
Unspotted by corruption and by guile,
Its like not to be found under the sun.
Else woe is us, for we shall be undone.
17
What good is rank, position, all the rest?
Let neither lord nor serf preserve their state.
This is the order that I think is best:
We are all peers, so let us integrate.
An equal opportunity relation
Is the solution for the Gypsy nation.”
18
Some in their number clamoured for a king,
Complete, of course, with counsellors and court,
For that had been the fashionable thing
They ought to proudly follow and not thwart.
There was no point in seeking to depart
From such a worthy, such a solid start.
19
Some raised their voices against poverty -
There should be naught for which the Gypsy lacks.
Some motioned that for all eternity
They should abolish levying the tax.
Some claimed that work was altogether bad,
Though others should be working in their stead.
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22
They almost came to blows about it all,
And what had started as a mild debate
Was quickly bringing tribes into a brawl,
As Gypsy anger seemed to escalate.
When circumstances called for a decree,
They were all the more prone to disagree.
23
According to the crownicles of yore,
The Gypsy braves fought seven days a week,
And were we but to reckon from this score,
Their pow-wow was a fountain, so to speak,
Of strife that issued forth for evermore.
Thus no one had a chance to take the floor.
24
That was sufficient proof to one and all,
As their chagrin had been exceeding great,
That multitude of words and bitter gall
Are good for nothing but dissent and hate.
Through such is all good counsel rendered vain,
And in the end there is no gain to gain.
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27
Considering the matter long and hard,
The elders did consequently decide
To alter their approach in this regard,
And not assemble all from far and wide
In the discussions to participate,
But, out of every tribe, a delegate.
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30
And there converged upon that very spot
The brightest minds, a wonder to behold,
All like unto the knights of Camelot,
That fabled castle in the tales of old.
Their brains’ endeavours were so exquisite,
That all the nations marvelled at their wit.
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32
Many a sage and scholar stood erect
And made their wisdom amply manifest,
Speaking enlightened words to the effect
That monarchy was, of all rules, the best,
And hardly could a better rule be found
On earth, above the earth, or underground.
33
One delegate, Barkroarious by name,
Attempted with excess of sophistry
The hearts of all for monarchy to claim,
Drawing on Scripture verse and history,
To persuade his peers by argument
That monarchy is greatly diligent.
34
“The truth,” he said, “is obviously one:
One God, one soul, one sun up in the sky,
As blessed Solomon, the Psalmist’s son,
Is also writing. Then, I ask you, why
Don’t we establish, as we rightly should,
One monarchy for the whole Gypsihood ?
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36
The human body, too, has but one head
To give instruction and to show the way.
All other members in this wise are led,
And likewise we should do well to obey,
Though we be many, one crowned head alone
As our foundation made of solid stone.
37
The body civic, it is therefore clear,
Ought to be governed from a single seat.
Friends, Gypsies, countrymen, lend me your ear:
This is the rule no other rule can beat.
Were some orator to expound all day,
He couldn’t show you any better way.
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40
Therefore a monarch, brethren, I entreat
You to appoint. His name imports us not,
But let him rule upon the Gypsy seat.
All other rules are but an earthen pot
Which you could shatter with a single blow:
And out of it discord and hatred flow.
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48
To put it briefly, the republic sucks:
No peace is in its boarders to be found.
Everything there is in a state of flux.
The legal system’s totally unsound,
And for good reason: there are laws galore,
Yet precious few who would by them set store.
49
Republic stands for unprotected land.
Whoever cares to comes and plucks its fruit.
The mighty one despoils with mighty hand,
Since he’s allowed by law licence to loot.
The welfare meant to pave the common way
Is thus divided amongst birds of prey.
50
It’s human nature: peers would always seek,
Though they be peers, to outshine all the rest,
Desiring, each of them, to be unique,
Each one of them convinced that he’s the best.
Consequently, when all is said and done,
Man craves by nature to be number one.
51
Therefore in all republics man would foil
His fellowman from getting to the top
By constant revolution and turmoil,
Causing the crowds to riot till they drop.
This is the source of evil, as you see,
Within the system called democracy.
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54
Now coming to aristocratic rule,
I do believe there’s not one among you
I could suspect of being such a fool
As to support in power three or two,
Or even more - the outcome’s just as grim:
I trust you wouldn’t yield to such a whim.
54
Say, by inclement fate it may befall
Some wretch to be a serf, which I deplore.
What shall his soul be comforted withal,
If, rather than one master, he serve more?
Therefore, my friends, I hope you understand,
We shouldn’t want more masters in our land.
55
The counsel of the masses is bad news:
It’s either wrong or, else, misunderstood.
Likewise is aristocracy no use,
Though it can do more harm than it does good
To city and society and state,
As I have done my best to demonstrate.
56
From ancient history we can perceive,
If we but read the facts the books record,
Or go back to the pair Adam and Eve,
When there was neither gentleman nor lord,
That at the start, when time had just begun,
There were but father, mother, daughter, son.
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58
The same blood ran through every single vein,
Accounting for the brotherhood of man.
Authority caused no one to complain,
As it was exercised by the whole clan.
The elders even rounded their estate
With whatever they could accumulate.
59
Yet as they were all set to multiply,
Some families grew gradually apart.
The line of blood did no longer apply,
From one another brothers would depart.
Left without any energy at all,
This form of house-rule was destined to fall.
60
It was the strongest now that ran the show,
All to the disadvantage of the weak.
Brute force was the accepted status quo -
A kind of rule called anarchy in Greek:
A many-headed hydra, so to say,
Whose every head pressed on to have its way.
61
This Moloch torn apart society
For most of our unpalatable past,
Until by sheer serendipity,
Consensus among men was reached at last.
And laying strife and rioting aside,
They made up rules by which they could abide.
62
Those of one language and the selfsame race,
Assembled all in cities of their own.
Yet they resolved they wouldn’t want to place
Some power wielding ruler on the throne,
But have a new arrangement, fair and square,
With equal rights they equally could share.
63
By democratic laws, and pretty mild,
All were made equal. No one could hold sway.
Canons and rules, pragmatically styled,
Were to become the order of the day.
The rate of economic growth was low,
Yet they could fend off any foreign foe.
64
Still, as such laws are always made in haste
By the excited crowd, for freedom’s sake,
They’re neither strict, nor are they firmly-based:
Therefore they’re not impossible to break.
Consequently, the strong ones made so bold
As to besiege them... And they didn’t hold.
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66
And that’s democracy for you: the strong
Set out to boldly break the laws non-stop,
And day by day, spurning both right and wrong,
They climb upon dead bodies to the top.
And then they fight among themselves, to wit,
Who stays on top, and who will have to quit.
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68
They’d go at each other hammer and tongs,
For as long as it takes passions to cool.
They’d kiss and make up, forgive all past wrongs,
But, pray, in the end, who’s left for a fool?
The people who, at the appointed hour,
Had put the head of each faction in power.
69
Supported by the many and the small,
They’d get on top and, relatively soon,
They come to lord it over one and all,
Enter new bonds, and play a diff’rent tune.
The others have to serve them now, you see,
Because they are the aristocracy.
70
Among exalted ranks there’s no love lost.
Nothing but power can appease their thirst,
And they would grab it, yea, at any cost
In their deranged desire to be first.
No peace, no brotherhood, no mutual trust
Among the likes of them could ever last.
71
They’d fight, before you know it, tooth and nail.
The slickest and the grimmest of them all
Would cheat his peers and hold them up for sale.
They’d cause each other from their seats to fall.
They’d coax the crowds with words exceeding grand,
Until they have them eat out of their hand.
72
The crowds don’t even notice the deceit,
They’re anyway accustomed to abuse.
As long as they have leisure, food to eat,
They gladly put their own head in the noose.
Thus, willingly, and all with one accord,
They hoist the throne of monarchy on board.
73
Unto a monarch they completely yield,
And all they have to him they do entrust.
As he commences palaces to build,
He does his best to make his kingdom last.
Therefore, throughout the season of his reign,
From evil and oppression he’d refrain.
74
He’s like unto a father to them all:
Their comforter, their champion in distress,
He’s the defender of their wherewithal:
The laws he gives his holiness express.
There is no joy on earth he’d prize above
His subjects’ unadulterated love.
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76
This is the way most likely to restore
Society unto a peaceful state.
Thus is sedition banned for evermore,
And all can for themselves appreciate
That this is, of all rules, the very best,
And worthy of an everlasting crest.”
78
Thus did Barkroarious end his ample speech,
Leaving a silence unperturbed behind.
In the assembly, it appeared that each
And every one was very much inclined
To choose a monarch on the spot, Yet none
Was keen to speak. So up stood Slobodan
79
To voice a proposition of his own.
His arguments politic’ly correct,
His choice of words rhethoric’ly high-flown,
He spoke from mind and book to the effect
That they should go republican instead.
And here’s, verbatim, all that he said:
80
“Were there to be a man exceeding wise,
Wiser than any man present or past,
A man unscheming and without disguise,
A man that’s gentle, generous and just,
And were this man, one among us, to be
Also endowed with immortality,
81
To such a man, with such a heart of gold,
And qualities whose like you cannot find,
Were he, let’s say, by accident to hold
A monarch’s office, well, I wouldn’t mind
Being his subject, brethren, that’s no lie.
And I will tell you now the reason why.
82
First, I would know without a shade of doubt
That he’s the best, and there could be no higher,
And like a father he will rule throughout
The lives of the descendants that I sire.
And since he is immortal, I won’t care
About the dangers of some future heir.
86
Let’s say we choose the ablest of them all
To reign over our nation from the throne.
Yet in the end he might want to install
Some children or grandchildren of his own
Upon the throne... And can we say for sure
They’ll be as just, as gentle, as mature?
87
Trial and error is a sure way
To stimulate the human intellect.
Let, then, trial and error, brethren, say
What consequences we are to expect
From monarchy. So let the facts unfold
According to the chronicles of old,
88
Whose teachings are as true as they are plain.
Though it may well have happened long ago
To have a worthy monarch called to reign,
However righteous, he still had to go.
And once he went, the chance was very slim
His progeny would measure up to him.
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92
Let’s, for the sake of argument, assume
That all of the descendants that he had
And raised to be the monarchs in his room
Were good as gold... For why should they be bad?
Yet, personally, brethren, I’d refuse
A monarchy, for monarchs are bad news.
93
A monarch is a man, one man alone.
He may well be the smartest man around,
He may well work his fingers to the bone,
Yet can he be as thorough and profound
As to consider matters and decide
For the entire kingdom, far and wide?
94
Nay, but he must needs have proper support,
Some trustworthy advisors of his own
To keep things going smoothly at his court...
Such people are habitually known
Around the world by such names as viziers,
Ministers, chiefs, spin doctors, lords and peers.
95
The monarch, either weak of intellect,
Or simply slothful, simply unaware,
Is wont his sacred duties to neglect,
And leaves the rule in his advisors’ care.
Such an arrangement seems to suit him well...
Now he can take it easy for a spell.
96
It’s to this end that monarchs always choose
The ones on whom their monarchy relies.
Be they great help, or but of little use,
They buzz around the throne like unto flies
Attracted from afar by carrion.
They style themselves court hawks and carry on.
97
They are a vicious lot, untrue, unfair;
They scheme and spread deception by degrees,
They know the art of how to set a snare,
Until the monarch, thoroughly at ease,
And unsuspecting, walks into their gin.
And, oh, he’s helpless, once they catch him in.
98
For they will never ever let him go...
Justice is laid immediately aside:
Woe to the subjects, to the people, woe!
Iniquity is now ready to ride,
And tyranny is quick to follow suit,
With slavery behind, in hot pursuit.
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107
The rule is now in the oppressor’s hand,
The vicious and the rabid wield the sword.
Therefore it’s plain, I hope you understand,
That neither prince, nor emperor, nor lord,
Nor sultan, shogun, duke we should obey.
And, even less, a pasha or a bey.
108
But a republic, yea, a solid state
Based upon sound, unquestionable laws,
After due philosophical debate,
And due consideration of each cause,
This kind of rule and this alone is good
To govern the entire Gypsyhood.
109
There is no true life worthy of its name,
Save but in a republic of this kind.
Experience is teaching us the same...
I hope brother Barkroarious won’t mind,
But his defence of monarchy falls short,
Because all monarchs have a bad report.
110
In a republic any man can grow
Up to the full potential of his call,
No matter what his birth is, high or low,
No matter what his fortune - great or small.
His rights, quite unaffected by his fate,
Are equally divided with the great.
111
The motherland his mother is, indeed,
And verily he is his mother’s son.
For she supplies whatever he might need:
Food, life, employment, government, a gun
In case of war, to make him free and strong;
And also comforts him when things go wrong.
112
The best of monarchy, in any land,
Gives way, with time, to a despotic rule,
And tyrants always get the upper hand,
Reducing people to a mere tool.
Their government is ruthless and unjust,
The human race is trodden down to dust.
113
In a republic citizens are all
Brothers, as children of the same good mum:
Co-heirs of the same country, great and small,
Before the law with equal rights they come.
If anyone is diff’rent from the rest,
It’s only he who strives to do his best,
114
And proves himself possessed of greater skill.
He gets elected for his rectitude,
Yet he does not command the rest at will,
According to his power and his mood.
There’s no abuse attached to rank, therefore
He will enforce the law an nothing more.
115
The monarchy you are so keen to laud
Is, by comparison, corrupt and crass.
It’s citizen is nothing but a fraud,
A faceless body in a faceless mass.
He’s born a serf and just leaves it at that,
Content to make the ruling classes fat.
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126
I tell you, brethren, look before you leap,
And do consider carefully your ways,
For monarchy is like a flock of sheep
Gone out into a pasture for to graze.
The monarch as the shepherd is portrayed,
Reclining ‘neath an oak tree, in the shade.
127
Wolves stand for foes who secretly abide,
Dogs stand for soldiers watching at the door,
Shed stands for city, grass - for countryside,
Produce - for treasury and all its store,
The shearing season stands, of course, for levy,
Or any other tax, however heavy.
128
The shepherd milks his each and every ewe,
And never misses out a single day,
Depriving thus the young lambs of their due.
Then from their mothers he takes them away,
And brings some to the marketplace for sale.
The rest he slaughters for his own wassail.
129
As soon as sheep have sprouted any wool
He shears them till they verge on the obscene,
In blatant violation of each rule,
Pretending it’s a matter of hygiene.
Impervious to their heart-breaking pleas,
He urges them to go enjoy the breeze.
130
Thousands of sheep are shorn until they bleed
And milked, and slaughtered, driven to despair,
To satisfy a ruthless shepherd’s greed...
So those of you who have some wool to spare,
Go choose a monarch for your shepherd now.
As for myself, I’d rather die, I vow.”
131
Thus ended he the saying of his text.
Now Janaloo made ready for his speech,
For Janaloo of Rosh’o’vaa was next.
Nevertheless, before his voice could reach
The audience, they noticed it was eve,
And all decided it was time to leave.
