An open space without setting, the scenic box in its genuine “realism”. To the right a “bed” (straw, covered with a blanket), a worn-out chair, a table, a book, etc. As if we could see the Bethlehem stable.
The scenery should suggest both the need for space and its vastness. The light goes up slowly, music.
(Dream)
Shall I keep the silence still?
Or maybe I should answer back?
Speak
angel of light
You shine there in the depth of the night
like God’s winged messenger
Who are you
who through the veil of the night
my secret beheld?
Poor me!
Who are you?
Who are you?
(Decisive)
Well then
I’ll leave and I shall tell them:
You send me to them
All right
And I shall also tell that
it’s your wish
that I should be all yours
To follow you wherever you might go
That I will tell them
and I won’t add a thing
and I shan’t be untrue
to your word at all
They will ask
I know them well
They will ask me
what is your name?
A mere name
could it tell you, I wonder,
who I am?
Oh my!
Say but that!
What is your name?
So speak to them and should they ask about me
The One who has sent me to you
so tell them
The One who is?
Who is The One that is?
Who is Theonethatis?
(Wild barks, strong taps on the window, kicks in the door. Sounds in the background)
(She starts)
Are you here?
(She eavesdrops insistently)
Give me a sign!
(Silence)
Take me to you
It’s been enough
It is for that soft chill that I long
And I leave it all to you do you get it?
Everything
my children my husband
the photographs the letters
My man
What about my man?
Is he still alive?
Why don’t you answer why?
Wouldn’t it be better not to love?
To part with it forever?
To take a big step
Toward you it’s ok toward you
but to go away from here for good to go away
Could freedom have no other forms than death?
Isn’t there an answer?
Angina pectoris
the doctor said
He is a prisoner like me
but still a doctor
It isn’t that bad
A woman’s beautiful name an actress let’s say
Of tragedy
Or of comedy?
Could it be one of tragedy still
Angina Pectoris
Let’s see what else does the mind know?
Look
Ango angere: I squeeze I stifle
I even cause worries
I torture
that is even better
The doctor listened to my heart
just as You do
for a long time and carefully
a little strict
He said I won’t survive
a new crisis
I am much too weak for that
Which appeased me
Then he said that something
is not right you’re not afraid of death
Me that is
And that is not right
I’m not afraid of death
Where there is angina pectoris there should be fear of death as well
And I don’t have it
(Attentive silence)
Overlook the fact that I’m not afraid of death
Take me to you do you hear me?
Don’t let me go back
Death paid me a visit
Lady Death and its suite
They undressed me
With an oblong basket woven of raffia
they took out water from the Danube
I was laughing
But the basket held the water
They bathed me
like a baby
Lady Death took off her black clothes
and dressed me in its own clothes
Then it put on my clothes
The water drained out of the basked in a second
You’re ready she said
you’re ready
I lay back in the empty basket
That very moment it started to rain with flowers
from the heavens
flowers flowers flowers
More of a snow than a rain
They were soft and they were cold as ice
I am ready I’m going you can take me
In my dream I remembered that winter
the first winter of my imprisonment
when the snow covered our shack completely
and we couldn’t get out
Only the body that felt it was morning
only our bodies
It was dark and we didn’t know why
hadn’t the sun come out?
Ready?
I wanted to get out of the shack
but there was no way I could open the door
I tried the window but it wouldn’t open either
I woke up the kids
wake up little sparrows wake up
the wandering through the desert ended
we will be free soon
I immediately felt a huge freedom
inside in me and also true happiness
Then I wasn’t wondering yet
what I will do with them until the moment
of death by starvation
I believed in another kind of death
A sort of crossing
The Jordan of time stands still
and we all with dry feet pass
onto the opposite bank
So much I was blinded by the hope of a common death
There was a nice warmth
at least we won’t have problems with that
so I told myself
I lit a candle
I waited for them to get dressed
I shall sing
I shall sing to them with all my might
It always works
If they are hungry I shall sing to them
and tell them different stories
If they are ill I shall sing
I saw fear on their faces
Everything was different from how it was before
Don’t be afraid little sparrows don’t be afraid
Our home is but a coffin
The first born tried to open the door
then the window just like me
But he didn’t succeed either
Then the took a branch from near the hearth
and broke the window as small as the palm
Snow
he shouted
snow
The little ones went to see as well
and they started to shout merrily
But form the outside some voices came in as well
They were Franciscan prisoners
from the nearby shack
they were the liberators
(To Lady Death)
I’m ready I’m going you can take me
I was utterly ashamed
I was charmed by the chance of a common death
The little sparrows to die
To drop like flies in the autumn
To end it to finish it at last
It was eventually our most beautiful winter
The snow near the walls
and on the roof hardened so much
that you could climb onto the house and slide like on a coast
The kids are wandering up on the house
ride the coping of the roof
Little sparrows
little sparrows
Who does the face
of Lady Death remind me of?
Who?
I don’t know
(Looking up)
Do you know?
I also saw a dog
it was lying on the brim of the ditch attentive
It had beautiful pointed ears
And seemed to look at me in wonder
amazed and as if it demanded an explanation
but it didn’t seem to be part of the suite of Lady
Death
He kept raising his head from his paws stretched in front of him
and he whimpered as well
When exactly?
wait a minute
I know
When I put on Lady Death’s clothes
that’s when
In the morning of the eviction
when the truck started with us
the dog started running after us
He wanted to get in
The kids started encouraging him shouting
Wolf
come on Wolf
That was his name
Romanian dog
A Romanian family had given it to us
at Salonta
Take him they said
he will be useful to you
then they vanished
Some times are these people vanish
Earth swallows them
the darkness
Wolf
A Romanian dog turned Hungarian
No
A German shepherd dog turned Romanian
which turned Hungarian in the end
Wolf Wolf
the kids urged him all at once
Dear Wolf come on come with us
We were already driving on the road
but Wolf wouldn’t give up
the guard who sat at the back of the truck
took the tarpaulin aside
armed his machine gun
and shot him
Shot at him a short volley of shots
A volley of shots
He wanted to make sure
Wolf’s body seemed to have become lighter at once
rose above
with a magnificent port
as if he had waited this moment all his life
he was flying he was flying
then he fell without sound
But we didn’t see this
the fall
Dear Wolf
sweetie
the kids cried all at once
fly fly
For a long while we thought we could still see his eyes in the dark
staring at us
to follow us as far as they could
and be with us
Dear Wolf
sweetie
The eviction order didn’t refer to him
May he rest in peace
Did you receive him?
Do you receive animals?
I sometimes imagine that you invented something for animals as well
a heaven for them too
A heavenly zoo
Don’t you follow human patterns
Or do they become angels at once?
take for instance that donkey on Whitsuntide
that carries Our Saviour your only son
What became of him?
Did they just cut him?
Did they consume him just like this
as if nothing happened?
Or take Balaam she-donkey
My favourite donkey
carries the prophet on his back
so that Your people may curse him
and she sees the angel in the open road
The prophet does not see the angel
the donkey sees him
When it comes to donkeys you’re invincible
I say this because of my sons
When it comes to donkeys you’re invincible
and to lambs
but don’t forget Wolf either
if you can
Could you tell the children?
Could you tell them you’re thinking about Wolf as well?
(Pause)
Why did we envy the dog then?
I asked something
Because I would have liked to stay there
in the black tunnel with the looks of my children moving further away?
Do I like images much too much?
Where are you taking us I asked
No answer
We have had no news about my man for a year now
Say something
They don’t say a thing
The sun has risen
The children are sleeping all of a heap jolted
Are you here?
Man is made in such a way
that he can’t listen to his own heart
You need another one for this
The doctor leans over me
listens for a long time
Then he tells me
something he squeezes he works my heart out
I knew since then that it’s not something
but someone
Someone someone someone
I can’t keep in mind
but physiological issues lady
(Looking up)
What do you want from me?
(No answer)
Are you here?
What am I doing here?
Nothing
I’m not doing anything
You brought me here I didn’t come all by myself
(She tidies up her bed)
No trace of money
There is no money in the mattress
(She laughs)
And there is no mattress either!
When they brought us here there wasn’t even straw
Only the empty land
Now we have straw as well
We have a blanket too
there was a blanket around
We lay the blanket over the straw
that’s our bed
They gave us this hut
when they brought us here
No roof no bed no table no chair no window no door
only walls
There are still the remains of a skeleton of a roof
so that the birds of the sky might rest
I suppose that’s why
the foxes have their den
the birds of the sky have nests
but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head
Well he doesn’t that’s the holy truth
He still has a head
Still has a head
We got off the truck
and the guards
said that’s the house where you’ll live
Do not leave the inside of the camp
we’ll fire without a warning
no matter if they’re children or adults
And so on
I couldn’t understand
a word of all of these
It was like a sermon made in a hurry at a funeral
when it is about to rain
My first born son was the interpreter
This is the house
that’s what they said
And that you will live
They didn’t lack the sense of humour
House
Dwelling
We inserted ourselves among the walls
the freshest prisoners around
me in the front
behind me the children
I looked through the empty scaffold of the roof to the sky
and said to myself
there’s no question of atrium here
one can see even from this
how far Budapest is
But the Black Sea is close
Budapest came to my mind
Our apartment near Rokus hospital
the tap with porcelain knobs
the external passageway
the vinegar trees in the depth of the yard
I thought you only waited for this sign
this stare into the sky
a thick rain started
What now
At first we crouched
under our only blanket all of us
it seemed that this is the solution
to hide somehow
to hide away from yourself
Why did you give me so many children?
come little lambs
come here around me
But the rain won’t subside
at long last it crossed my mind
that for the past five days since they keep moving us
